Expert advice for the discerning time-traveler. Our experts have been wrong about everything.
Our shop features a wide variety of useless knowledge and questionable services.
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Consult with the Great and Powerful Blerg
Blerg is an expert on the history of forgotten civilizations. He'll tell you that the world is ending tomorrow, or that the end of the world is always tomorrow.
Consult with Blerg -
Get a Horoscope from the Cosmic Cartographer
The Cosmic Cartographer has mapped the stars, planets, and your soul. He'll tell you that you're a Leo, but you're really a Cancer, and you'll never be happy with your current life choices.
Get a Horoscope -
Consult with the Time-Traveling Tax Accountant
The Time-Traveling Tax Accountant has seen it all, from the fall of empires to the rise of reality TV. He'll tell you how to avoid paying taxes in any timeline.
Consult with the Time-Traveling Tax Accountant